Out of the frying pan into the fire... From Monday to Friday.

Hello to everyone!

Well, this one is gonna be a long one, and mostly informational and narrative. I want to get the details out of what has been going on with this whole deal, so that those that are interested in knowing will hear it dirctly from me.

As most of you this whole thing started with a cough seven weeks ago on one cold fronted day in October. I thought nothing of it at the time except, welp, here comes a cough. Weeks went by and the cough grew worse, but I have battled coughs and stuff all my life so again I didnt think much of it. I took some over the counter drugs eventually, but they just didn't seem to help. Around nov 10th, I finally decided to see a doctor. He determined that it was an upper respiratory infection and acute bronchitis, both diagnoses seeming very reasonable and consistent with what was going on. Happily pleased to have that problem solved and with sufficient steroids and antibiotics, I went on my way, had a great Fall Retreat with the youth group, butcould never get rid of the cough.

Thanksgiving week came, and with the awesome scheduling of Reading Week at Criswell, I thought it was the perfect time for me to get rest that week and get over this sickness, whatever it was. Unforunately, that was not the case. Continually I was feeling more fatigued, coughed more, and generally more out of breath with the beginnings of a high heart rate.
The next week began the next set of symptoms. My neck began to swell and my jaw began to hurt and swell, which made me look like a younger Santa Claus! (perhaps thats really what's going on ;) ). My heartrate was consistly faster, and it felt as if I were always exercising. Which for a guy like me and the ginormity of my muscles wasn't such a stretch :). Matt and Ben know all about stuff like that.

Well, Monday of this week rolls along, and after night after night of sweats and uncomfortably, and feeling crummy, it was time to go to the doctor. So I went to another doctor closer by, and by the way, my face looked hilarious. That day I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because it would just make me laugh. Probably exactly what y'all experience every day. When you see me normally, but now i understand! So, immediately the doctor notices, not the cough problem, but the elevated heart rate and high blood pressure I had. It was like I was running a marathon just sitting still! He immediately after seeing some abnormalities in my EKG, decided that I needed to be sent to a cardiologist. So here I go to meet Dr. Carry down at Baylor. She was awesome! Such a blessing!

After much of the same after her appointment, she decided to admit me over night. Now this was something that I had never wanted to do, was be admitted into the hospital for something serious. Well, we get a room and the tests to see what was wrong with my heart begin. Echo, that was a cool sonogram deal where they saw fluid aroundmy heart, chest x-ray, and after hearing I had been in Uganda last summer, a CAT scan. So CAT party begins, and the tech comes back and says nonchalantly, we're gonna do the scan again because you have a mass around heart. What?! Uh...I was somewhat speechless, but at the time there was not much to be done except continue the test.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning. The wonderful Dr. Carry comes in and says, well God works in mysterious ways (you'll hear about those mysterious ways in another post.) bottom line, you have a large mass pushing against your lungs and large arteries around your heart. We need to biopsy this immediately to see what we are dealing with and then begin treatment right away. Wow. What shocking news. I want to be open in this blog with my struggles through all of this for the purpose that you might see God at work in all of that, and that he is still God amidst tragedy, in fact I might contend that he does his best work when things are not going how we would have planned them at all. Needless to say, I had seen people hear bad news and had watched them get nauseous andy throw up, thinking to myself, that's such a weird response. Like, keep it together man! Wel,now I now the feeling. News like that was not something I ever would have heard, especially as a 22 year old.

Later the morning the oncologists came in and did some tests and other stuff, and then the biopsy that night. At this point iwant to take the time to thank everyone who has come out to visit me and pray with me and support me. Your testimony has been overwhelming, and I have been strengthened through your love and prayers and through the spirit dwelling inside of you. And your love shines not only to our fqmily, but is seen by all those working at the hospital, and you are a testimony of Jesus to them. Thank you so much! I've never felt more blessed.
So biopsy came and went, my first surgery,and boy thank goodness for that happy juice they giv you.things went smoothly and I got to spend the night in icu. Well, this ws a blessing and curse. There was a machine that sounded like a washing machine going on for one patient across the room of four, and another patient had just had major heart surgery so he's crying out in pain all night. So no sleep for me. But hey, that just means I got to spend time with some sweet and attractive nurses attended to me the whole night. Can't beat that!

The next morning came a transfer to the room that I am in now, and with it came a bone marrow biopsy! Yikes! You know, there are things called bucket lists, things you want to do before you die. Well I have a "hole-in-the-bucket" list and on it are things i never want to do before I die. Of these on the top of the list were, not be admitted to the hospital, not ever have surgery , and certainly not have a bone marrow biopsy.i've seen enough house episodes to know otherwise :)! Check. Check.check. God sure does work in mysterious ways, does he not?the rest of the day was filled with encouraging visitors who provided so much joy and comfort amidst all the trying times going on. Someone even dressed up as an elf (thanks jenni:) you're awesome, even though I know it wasn't totally for me:) )! I cant say it enough how much your support from family,the church, and the school, has meant to meandmy family. We've had people we don't know come by cuz someone had told their Sunday school class, so they came and prayed. its just been awesome!

Well,let's get to Thursday, because I know this is a long post, but i wanted to be thorough so you all could be on the same page if you have been praying ( after this you might start praying for smaller blog posts). Thursday started with a PET scan, which is all we thought we were doing Thursday. Ohohno! More tests and fun procedures. And it ended with the diagnosis of what I have. The tumor in my chest is a non-hodgkins mediastinal b cell lymphoma common among those my age (those of course who get cancer). Thankfully it hasn't spread into my bone marrow, and they are awaiting the results on the PET scan, but they are going to start chemo here within the next few minutes (2 am Friday morning). They will attack it aggressively. Me, being so strong and muscular in prime physical condition they can just lay the chemo on me!
So the first journey of diagnosing has ended and the new journey of chemo is just now beginning. Out of the frying pan into the fire. Pray for strength. Pray for strength for my mom and dad.

Psalm 46 has been rolling through my head this whole ordeal. My paraphrase "god is our refuge and strength, an ever present trouble. Therefore Iwill not fear... Those this whole earth shakes away... There is a city whose streams make glad the holy place of God where the most high dwells. God is within her, she CANNOT fall, God will help her at break of day. The Lord almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress.... (and later) be still and know, that I am God.be still and know that i am God. I will be exalted among the nations I will be exalted on the earth. The Lord almighty is with us, the god of Jacob is our fortress. Amen. Learn that. Memorize that. Let it be your hearts cry in good times and in the most uncertain times. Be still and know that he is god. And by the way, I was still, and more than I,ve ever, amidst this trial, I know he is God and I know I am his son and that he will take care of me through all of this, whether by life or by death, he will be exalted among the nations, he will be exalted on the earth.

Well, the rest of my blogs will not be nearly this long and kudos to you who have made it to the end. There was a lot of material to cover. I'll give an update on the chemo procedures today or tomorrow depending on how I feel, but I also want to spend some time showing what God is doing and what he is teaching. Pray that those around us would have their faith strengthened and that some would come to Christ! Love you guys! You all mean the world to me (but only those who actually, read the whole thing lol). Just kidding! Love you guys!

Jonathan