Well, the day has finally come. Tomorrow morning I go back to the hospital for the next round of chemo treatment. It's the same regiment and I should be in for abut a week. Since I was in the hospital last, I decided I would begin to read through the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings again. I haven't read them in a while, and I figured that no books were more fitting to relate to than books about characters that were thrust into an adventure they were not ready for. In both books the adventurers make a stop at the lovely Rivendell. Rivendell is a place of rest and comfort after the first leg of their journey. They'd already had experiences they never expected to have in an entire lifetime; adventures that would make for great stories when all was said and done. but for the time being they rested and enjoyed not adventuring while being at Rivendell. Unfortunately, their time at Rivendell had to end. For as far as they felt they had gone, the adventurers still had a long way to go, and the brief reprieve had to come to an end. They had to pack their bags and prepare for the journey ahead. They weren't finished just yet.
This is about how I feel. The first leg is over, and I've had my stay at Rivendell. I've rested and recovered from wounds from the journey. I've gotten to spend wonderful times with friends and family. I've regained my strength and my energy. But its time to begin the next leg of the journey. And it's come much too soon. To be honest, I'm not ready to go back to the hospital. There are too many unknowns; too many things to go through. It's a long journey and it's way more comfortable where I am now. But I guess that's the way adventures work. You never really are ready for them, and they never really come at your convenience. otherwise, they wouldn't be adventures I guess. They come at their time and you just get thrown in. It's ready, set, go and the journey begins. So, whether I like it or not, I have to begin again. The adventure waits for no one. Those that stay behind miss out. Sure they miss out on all the fear, unknowns, the fatigue, the loss of comfort. But they also miss out on the fact that they are on an adventure. You see new places, meet new people, learn things about yourself and the world that you never would've known otherwise. Most of the time adventurers at the end get the girl (i dont wanna miss out on that ;)), and maybe, just maybe, there will be a treasure at the end, or at least something involving saving the world. That's what adventures are like. I think I'll take my chances and jump in with both feet.
But there's another thing about Rivendell. As good as it is being in a place like that, it's just not home. It's not normal. Rivendell is a constant reminder that you are stuck in the middle. If you stayed there forever, as good as it may be, it's not the same as being home and done with the journey. You would be in between for the rest of your life. You would be reminded of what you left behind and what you didn't accomplish before you. Staying in Rivendell would turn out to be maddening. The time there has to come to an end. You either go home and miss out, or you choose to continue on and finish the adventure. But you can't stay in Rivendell. And so here's where I am. I must continue on. I don't really have a choice. The path has been set before me. I'm leaving Rivendell. Whether I'm ready or not the time has come. I have a journey to complete and though I probably won't end up saving the world or stumbling on a grand treasure, I know this is going to be for my good, and when the adventure is over, I will come back home, this time for good; or at least until Gandalf shows up at my door ready with another adventure. :)
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Those jumping monkeys...
Greetings to you who read the blog! I hope this finds you well and in the Christmas spirit as it is nearing Christmas Eve (not the stressed out, spent the day in traffic shopping spirit, but the joyful and thankful for Jesus, family, and friends spirit- I've experienced both today so just wanted to clarify lol). The past two days have been busy with doctors appointments and plenty of wonderful x-rays, sonograms (yes sonograms, and no they don't think I'm pregnant), and CT scans being done on me. Let's just says its getting far more fun to fill out medical history forms now; I'm becoming loaded with good info and history!
A few big items of news. Went to the doctor and the doctor said, no more monkeys jumping on the bed... (just kidding. If you know that reference, I don't know whether to congratulate you or disown you as a friend. In fact, I have no idea where I learned that song and what the significance is of it. Oh well...) but seriously, A chest x-ray did not show the tumor as it once had, which means the first round of chemo did a great job and greatly diminished the size of the mass in my chest! Praise the Lord! Next, since I'm feeling well and since my resting heartrate is still fairly high, they are going to readmit me for chemo round 2 on Monday the 26th. Yikes! Much earlier than I expected. So that's going to be fun. Have Christmas and then jump back in! No time like the present. That's what I always say (I don't really always say that).
A few prayer requests:
1. Please Pray that my blood clots will be gone and that the tumor will be shrunk enough so that they can put a port in, as opposed to the femoral artery catheter. This will be permanent and easier for treatment as well as allow for more mobility during the chemo treatments. Also, they use anesthesia for that procedure. I like being asleep. :)
2. Please pray for me and my family as we mentally, physically, etc. prepare for another round of chemo and hospital. It's tough gearing myself up to go back to the hospital.
And lastly, here is what God is teaching me at the moment. I came across one of my favorite Old Testament passages in my Bible reading the other day (yes jr. Highers I said favorite :)). It is the story of the Assyrians attacking Jerusalem, King Hezekiah, and mainly the LORD. You can find this in 2 kings 18-19 or Isaiah 37-38. The story in a nutshell: King Sennacherib or Snatch a Rib (for short- he's a sucker for barbecue) of Assyria is about to come and lay siege to Jerusalem. He sends some people to Jayroo (nicknames are more fun) and they basically make fun of King Hezzie and blaspheme the LORD in front of all the people. They say something like, "what god has stood in the way of Assyria? Do you really thnk yours is any better? We're going to crush hm like all the others. Oh yeah, and hezekiah's a baby for believing in him too. Why don't y'all jut give up?"
Well you just don't say those kind of this to the One, true, living God who is Lord over all. Isaiah shows up to tell Hezekiah that God has got this and that he's going to whoop up on the Assyrians. And whoop up he does. That night, after giving a message back to the Assyrians straight from the Lord, he kills 185,000 of them. The rest wake up that morning having no idea what is going on. Ole Snatch a Rib decides its best to scurry on back home. Well, he ends up getting killed by his sons (you kind of lose credibility as a king when you can't explain how you lost that many men), and Jerusalem and Judah are safe for the time being. The Lord delivered them in a mighty way. And then it hit me. What is a little lymphoma compared to the predicament the Israelites were in? A whole nation was looking at death and destruction in a horribly miserable way; siege, not to mention how many of them were questioning where God was in all of that. And Hezekiah, he trusted the Lord despite the ridicule he received from the Assyrians and from his people. He was alone, leading his people by trusting in the Lord. And guess what, God delivered them; all of them. So what's a little cancer compared to that! If God delivered them in such a mighty fashion, surely he can deliver me in just as mighty of a fashion. I can put my trust and hope in a God who can do something as great as that. Knowing that our God has that kind of power gives me great confidence in the face of seemingly enormous trials. In fact, it kind of makes those trials seem like little mole hills in comparison to what he's already done. That's good news to me! My God delivers his people from their enemies. He delivers them from the devil. He delivers them from sin. He delivers them from sickness. And he delivers them from death. Booyah.
As an aside, if you are wondering if that story has any extra biblical evidence to corroborate such an outlandish tale, let me encourage you to take a look at this video. It exhibits an artifact from the British museum explaining from the Assyrian perspective a little bit of what happened. Watch it if you dare (and by the way, I was there when it was filmed and even make an appearance on the film to prove it!). enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsKEoX1_J80&sns=em
A few big items of news. Went to the doctor and the doctor said, no more monkeys jumping on the bed... (just kidding. If you know that reference, I don't know whether to congratulate you or disown you as a friend. In fact, I have no idea where I learned that song and what the significance is of it. Oh well...) but seriously, A chest x-ray did not show the tumor as it once had, which means the first round of chemo did a great job and greatly diminished the size of the mass in my chest! Praise the Lord! Next, since I'm feeling well and since my resting heartrate is still fairly high, they are going to readmit me for chemo round 2 on Monday the 26th. Yikes! Much earlier than I expected. So that's going to be fun. Have Christmas and then jump back in! No time like the present. That's what I always say (I don't really always say that).
A few prayer requests:
1. Please Pray that my blood clots will be gone and that the tumor will be shrunk enough so that they can put a port in, as opposed to the femoral artery catheter. This will be permanent and easier for treatment as well as allow for more mobility during the chemo treatments. Also, they use anesthesia for that procedure. I like being asleep. :)
2. Please pray for me and my family as we mentally, physically, etc. prepare for another round of chemo and hospital. It's tough gearing myself up to go back to the hospital.
And lastly, here is what God is teaching me at the moment. I came across one of my favorite Old Testament passages in my Bible reading the other day (yes jr. Highers I said favorite :)). It is the story of the Assyrians attacking Jerusalem, King Hezekiah, and mainly the LORD. You can find this in 2 kings 18-19 or Isaiah 37-38. The story in a nutshell: King Sennacherib or Snatch a Rib (for short- he's a sucker for barbecue) of Assyria is about to come and lay siege to Jerusalem. He sends some people to Jayroo (nicknames are more fun) and they basically make fun of King Hezzie and blaspheme the LORD in front of all the people. They say something like, "what god has stood in the way of Assyria? Do you really thnk yours is any better? We're going to crush hm like all the others. Oh yeah, and hezekiah's a baby for believing in him too. Why don't y'all jut give up?"
Well you just don't say those kind of this to the One, true, living God who is Lord over all. Isaiah shows up to tell Hezekiah that God has got this and that he's going to whoop up on the Assyrians. And whoop up he does. That night, after giving a message back to the Assyrians straight from the Lord, he kills 185,000 of them. The rest wake up that morning having no idea what is going on. Ole Snatch a Rib decides its best to scurry on back home. Well, he ends up getting killed by his sons (you kind of lose credibility as a king when you can't explain how you lost that many men), and Jerusalem and Judah are safe for the time being. The Lord delivered them in a mighty way. And then it hit me. What is a little lymphoma compared to the predicament the Israelites were in? A whole nation was looking at death and destruction in a horribly miserable way; siege, not to mention how many of them were questioning where God was in all of that. And Hezekiah, he trusted the Lord despite the ridicule he received from the Assyrians and from his people. He was alone, leading his people by trusting in the Lord. And guess what, God delivered them; all of them. So what's a little cancer compared to that! If God delivered them in such a mighty fashion, surely he can deliver me in just as mighty of a fashion. I can put my trust and hope in a God who can do something as great as that. Knowing that our God has that kind of power gives me great confidence in the face of seemingly enormous trials. In fact, it kind of makes those trials seem like little mole hills in comparison to what he's already done. That's good news to me! My God delivers his people from their enemies. He delivers them from the devil. He delivers them from sin. He delivers them from sickness. And he delivers them from death. Booyah.
As an aside, if you are wondering if that story has any extra biblical evidence to corroborate such an outlandish tale, let me encourage you to take a look at this video. It exhibits an artifact from the British museum explaining from the Assyrian perspective a little bit of what happened. Watch it if you dare (and by the way, I was there when it was filmed and even make an appearance on the film to prove it!). enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsKEoX1_J80&sns=em
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Beauty will rise...
Well, it has been quite an interesting two days in ole cancer land. And to be frank (although if i were to chose to be someone, I dont think I would choose to be frank. Maybe joe, or Carl. No offense to any franks that are reading this :) ), whats going on with me might not really be interesting to someone who's gone through all this chemo stuff and what not. This might all just be old news. And fair enough and kudos to you for getting through it like a champ. But nonetheless it's all new to us, so each new thing is interesting and unknown and exciting.
So, yesterday was the second of my blood tests to check white cell counts and fun stuff like that. The first one went very well. They had given me a shot after chemo that boosted my white cell count, so it was like 3 times what they normally should've been. Sweet. Well second test, not so good. My white cell count was extremely low. So they prescribe some antibiotics (funny enough, the same that we're not sure whether I'm allergic to them, but that's another story), and send me home. Right about that time I start feeling really crummy and get a fever. Not really something you want to get while low in white cell counts. So we're not really sure what's going on. My temperature eventually climbs to the point where they say to call in. So we call the doctor and pack up thinking we might have to go back into the hospital. Well, he says that the fever is all good, just keep eating and drinking and the antibiotics will kick in. We're just to call if it gets worse. So we sit and wait. Chill, eat and drink and pray the fever goes down. And sure enough, this morning it finally got back to normal. Needless to say we were kind of unsure what was going to go down last night. But God was good and the antibiotics did their thing!
God continues to be faithful and good to us in this difficult and somewhat scary time. That being said, I wanted to share something that has been of great encouragement to me. Not only during this time but also during many other really trying times in my life (although I have to admit there haven't been too many). But it was a particular point a few years ago where this really impacted me. Many of you know who Steven Curtis Chapman is and many of you know of his story especially the tragedy him and his family went through a few years ago. Im not going to be specific out of respect for him and his family, but how he responded was very impact full for me. Being a songwriter, he began composing songs out of this tragedy, and a album came out later that kind of chronicled his struggle with the Lord and how he trusted God through one of the most difficult times imaginable. The album, my personal favorite of his, is entitled Beauty Will Rise. It is an honest look at working through trials and tragedy, at the same time you are trusting God, knowing who he is. I highly recommend this album to anyone and everyone, especially if you are in the midst of going through some difficult times.
I went ahead and posted a link to the first track on the album for you all to enjoy. I hope this album is as much of an encouragement to you as it was to me. And in the words of S.C.C., "out of these ashes, beauty will rise."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9JTwJ_1lzE&sns=em
So, yesterday was the second of my blood tests to check white cell counts and fun stuff like that. The first one went very well. They had given me a shot after chemo that boosted my white cell count, so it was like 3 times what they normally should've been. Sweet. Well second test, not so good. My white cell count was extremely low. So they prescribe some antibiotics (funny enough, the same that we're not sure whether I'm allergic to them, but that's another story), and send me home. Right about that time I start feeling really crummy and get a fever. Not really something you want to get while low in white cell counts. So we're not really sure what's going on. My temperature eventually climbs to the point where they say to call in. So we call the doctor and pack up thinking we might have to go back into the hospital. Well, he says that the fever is all good, just keep eating and drinking and the antibiotics will kick in. We're just to call if it gets worse. So we sit and wait. Chill, eat and drink and pray the fever goes down. And sure enough, this morning it finally got back to normal. Needless to say we were kind of unsure what was going to go down last night. But God was good and the antibiotics did their thing!
God continues to be faithful and good to us in this difficult and somewhat scary time. That being said, I wanted to share something that has been of great encouragement to me. Not only during this time but also during many other really trying times in my life (although I have to admit there haven't been too many). But it was a particular point a few years ago where this really impacted me. Many of you know who Steven Curtis Chapman is and many of you know of his story especially the tragedy him and his family went through a few years ago. Im not going to be specific out of respect for him and his family, but how he responded was very impact full for me. Being a songwriter, he began composing songs out of this tragedy, and a album came out later that kind of chronicled his struggle with the Lord and how he trusted God through one of the most difficult times imaginable. The album, my personal favorite of his, is entitled Beauty Will Rise. It is an honest look at working through trials and tragedy, at the same time you are trusting God, knowing who he is. I highly recommend this album to anyone and everyone, especially if you are in the midst of going through some difficult times.
I went ahead and posted a link to the first track on the album for you all to enjoy. I hope this album is as much of an encouragement to you as it was to me. And in the words of S.C.C., "out of these ashes, beauty will rise."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9JTwJ_1lzE&sns=em
Friday, December 16, 2011
The mean time...
Hello to all! So just a quick update: went to the hospital today for blood work and the results were good, which basically means I'm a healthy guy(considering the fact I was on chemotherapy). So that's good! We continue to look for good results as I'm checked often for this. If my white cell counts or platelets are low I just do the vampire thing and get some blood (although drinking it will be out of the question!), so we'll cross that bridge if the Lord considers us worthy of going there (by the way I'm gaining more and more respect for those who have gone down similar roads as I am going through now. You guys are troopers and I greatly admire your courage asyou've battled medical illnesses and the like. Your example spurs me on).
In the mean time (which is a great phrase to describe how I'm feeling now), I am learning what it means to trust in the Lord. Now immediately some may say, well wait, he's just now learning to trust the Lord? What was he doing this whole time he was sick in the hospital? Those certainly would,ve been good times to learn about trusting in the Lord. And that is very true. In fact I did learn quite a bit about trusting in the Lord and relying on Him in the darkest of times. It was by his grace that he showed me how much I need Him for every breath.
That being said, the initial shock with its added adrenaline and energy boost has worn off. I'm home now. And as great as being home is, I'm constantly reminded, I'm still sick. I'm in for the long haul, of doctors appointments, tests, labs, side effects, and the ever loathsome self administered blood thinner shots (who knew my last name would have such a special meaning to me now!). It's this strange dichotomy of being home and not home. Being better and not. It's the mean time. And in the mean time, I'm learning that it takes just as much dependence upon the Lord as it did every moment I was clinging to Him through the unknowns at the hospital.
He's teaching and reminding me the truth that it is only by His grace that I have breath in the morning. It's only by his grace that my heart beats when it does. And it's only by his grace that I can think and do anything at all. And because of this I need to trust him in any and every situation; normal or abnormal. He continues to be just the same God as he was before, during, and after anything we go through. He hasn't changed. Our perspective does. And mine is changing. See, I knew intellectually that he maintained everything and was in control of everything, now I actually have to depend on its truth. I have to keep the mindset that im constantly surrendering to him for strength and for my life reslly. If I forget to trust, things go badly. We all know they do and we all know what it's like when we've forgotten to trust completlely on the Lord.
If you think about it. We're all in the mean time. Jesus has come and done his most awesome work. Those who believe in him are saved from sin and death. But at the same time, we are still waiting. We are waiting for him to come back. We are waiting to finally be completely rd of this fleshly body with all its sin and pain. Even This Christmas we celebrate his first coming. But we are so anxiously awaiting his second coming. It's the mean time. And the mean time is really hard. Life isn't perfect. There is still pain. There is still hurt. But there is joy. There is hope. There is Christmas and the celebration of what Jesus has already done. And there is waiting. So in the mean time, join me in total, all out, utter dependence on the Lord. For every breath. For every heart beat. For the normal and the not so normal. But trust Him.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. In all your ways.
In the mean time (which is a great phrase to describe how I'm feeling now), I am learning what it means to trust in the Lord. Now immediately some may say, well wait, he's just now learning to trust the Lord? What was he doing this whole time he was sick in the hospital? Those certainly would,ve been good times to learn about trusting in the Lord. And that is very true. In fact I did learn quite a bit about trusting in the Lord and relying on Him in the darkest of times. It was by his grace that he showed me how much I need Him for every breath.
That being said, the initial shock with its added adrenaline and energy boost has worn off. I'm home now. And as great as being home is, I'm constantly reminded, I'm still sick. I'm in for the long haul, of doctors appointments, tests, labs, side effects, and the ever loathsome self administered blood thinner shots (who knew my last name would have such a special meaning to me now!). It's this strange dichotomy of being home and not home. Being better and not. It's the mean time. And in the mean time, I'm learning that it takes just as much dependence upon the Lord as it did every moment I was clinging to Him through the unknowns at the hospital.
He's teaching and reminding me the truth that it is only by His grace that I have breath in the morning. It's only by his grace that my heart beats when it does. And it's only by his grace that I can think and do anything at all. And because of this I need to trust him in any and every situation; normal or abnormal. He continues to be just the same God as he was before, during, and after anything we go through. He hasn't changed. Our perspective does. And mine is changing. See, I knew intellectually that he maintained everything and was in control of everything, now I actually have to depend on its truth. I have to keep the mindset that im constantly surrendering to him for strength and for my life reslly. If I forget to trust, things go badly. We all know they do and we all know what it's like when we've forgotten to trust completlely on the Lord.
If you think about it. We're all in the mean time. Jesus has come and done his most awesome work. Those who believe in him are saved from sin and death. But at the same time, we are still waiting. We are waiting for him to come back. We are waiting to finally be completely rd of this fleshly body with all its sin and pain. Even This Christmas we celebrate his first coming. But we are so anxiously awaiting his second coming. It's the mean time. And the mean time is really hard. Life isn't perfect. There is still pain. There is still hurt. But there is joy. There is hope. There is Christmas and the celebration of what Jesus has already done. And there is waiting. So in the mean time, join me in total, all out, utter dependence on the Lord. For every breath. For every heart beat. For the normal and the not so normal. But trust Him.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. In all your ways.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
There is a body... And Christ is the head.
Hello to all. I just wanted first to give a brief update on how things are going here, and then jot some thoughts down. It's been a full first full day back at home, with going back to the hospital for a shot and other orientation events and then trying to get fully settled back home. I'm feeling ok. Thankfully still haven't suffered any extreme chemo side affects as of yet. Praying that that continues. Getting my strength back is the hardest thing right now, but I'm thinking that's gonna come with time.
It's been fun today to thoroughly go through all the cards and gifts from people, some of the highlights have been the Lord of the Rings pez, courtesy of the Evans, the free loader fork, courtesy of Julia Stone, and the pet food from Matt Griffin for my PET scan earlier this week! It was good Matt. But there has just been so many encouraging cards and gifts and videos and all sorts of stuff, that my heart has just been overwhelmed with love for you all. You know, it is God who has been faithful throughout this whole process and he will continue to be so in the darkest times, that's what he does. So I'm going to be relying on him and his word first and foremost throughout this whole cancer ordeal. But at the same time, I have never been more overwhelmed with the power and love of the body of Christ than this past week and a half. It makes me so joyful to be a Christian! And it's not just the cards and gifts, it's the hospital visits, it's the food, it's the encouraging words, and it's especially your prayers. I've discovered that I've literally been prayed for around the world by Christians I don't even know! How awesome is that?!
The church has just been incredible and I have seen Christ in you all. After all, this is the way the world will know we are Jesus' disciples, by our love for one another. So keep it up! Not just to me, but to everyone in the church who needs support, and really go for it with how yu show yur love. Be daring. and in turn we will all be blessed, Christ will be praised, and the world will know Him! Good deal if you ask me. And for those of you on the outside of the family of God, those who may be reading this who do not yet know Jesus, what are you waiting on? Why are you waiting out in the cold when we are having our Christmas party inside. What's so good outside the family of God that you so desperately want to hold onto? Come on in. There's room by the fire, where Jesus is King, and we've got a place for you.
I'm thankful for the church. I'm thankful for my closest friends and my family. I'm thankful that with you guys and with the help from Jesus, I will get through this difficult time. Cuz y'all are awesome, and I'm thankful to be a small part in theis grand body of Christ.
It's been fun today to thoroughly go through all the cards and gifts from people, some of the highlights have been the Lord of the Rings pez, courtesy of the Evans, the free loader fork, courtesy of Julia Stone, and the pet food from Matt Griffin for my PET scan earlier this week! It was good Matt. But there has just been so many encouraging cards and gifts and videos and all sorts of stuff, that my heart has just been overwhelmed with love for you all. You know, it is God who has been faithful throughout this whole process and he will continue to be so in the darkest times, that's what he does. So I'm going to be relying on him and his word first and foremost throughout this whole cancer ordeal. But at the same time, I have never been more overwhelmed with the power and love of the body of Christ than this past week and a half. It makes me so joyful to be a Christian! And it's not just the cards and gifts, it's the hospital visits, it's the food, it's the encouraging words, and it's especially your prayers. I've discovered that I've literally been prayed for around the world by Christians I don't even know! How awesome is that?!
The church has just been incredible and I have seen Christ in you all. After all, this is the way the world will know we are Jesus' disciples, by our love for one another. So keep it up! Not just to me, but to everyone in the church who needs support, and really go for it with how yu show yur love. Be daring. and in turn we will all be blessed, Christ will be praised, and the world will know Him! Good deal if you ask me. And for those of you on the outside of the family of God, those who may be reading this who do not yet know Jesus, what are you waiting on? Why are you waiting out in the cold when we are having our Christmas party inside. What's so good outside the family of God that you so desperately want to hold onto? Come on in. There's room by the fire, where Jesus is King, and we've got a place for you.
I'm thankful for the church. I'm thankful for my closest friends and my family. I'm thankful that with you guys and with the help from Jesus, I will get through this difficult time. Cuz y'all are awesome, and I'm thankful to be a small part in theis grand body of Christ.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Week one: There and back again...
One week. Wow. Who knew how much a week could hold? I feel like Bilbo Baggins with his mammoth of a hobbit's tale, well, except for the fact that he got to fight giant spiders, steal from a dragon, and found the One Ring, and I'm sitting in a hospital bed. But when you really look at it, it's basically the same... Ha, just kidding :), his story makes for much better bedtime reading lol. But this week has indeed held a lot for me and my family. One week ago I had no idea I had cancer. One week ago I was hypervelentalating at the doctor's office cause they stuck my finger for my blood sugar level. No way did I know all this was going down. But God did. He had the whole thing mapped out, the timing and everything. He always has something up his sleeve, and even in the midst of the most trying times when you're at your wits end or when you feel as if you're just a little hobbit up against a mighty dragon, Jesus holds some fantastic promises in store.
John 11 begins one of my favorite moments in the gospels (if you're a jr. higher reading this you are immediately rolling your eyes because I that almost everything in the Bible is my favorite, but hey, what can I say?). At this point the whole gospel of John just gets turned up in terms of mission and purpose, with massive event and dialogue after another. So this chapter turns that corner. Many of you know the story. It's the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Yes, from the dead. Awesome. But before we get to that spot, a few of Jesus's responses must be recognized in order to get the magnitude of what he does later.
First, after hearing that Lazarus is sick, instead of going to Bethany immediately to heal the guy, he stays two days longer where he was at, saying it was for the glory of God. So maybe it is true God doesn't free us from trials immediately for his glory later? Well, if that's not the best news, he waits and gets there four days after Lazarus was dead! Oops! Perhaps God was sleeping or on vacation. I know it can feel that way sometimes. But God is not some silly idol or good luck charm that helps us cope with the troubles of this world. He's not some father figure we've just made up to psychologically manage the angst of the world. Ohohno. Here we go. Just you wait and see.
So, Jesus gets to Bethany, and Lazarus' sisters come to him. Martha first. She's wrapping her mind around it intellectually, saying, Jesus, I know he'll rise again at the resurrection of the dead. But Jesus says, hey Martha, I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even if he dies. He says, "hey, do you get? I'm right here. That thing you're waiting for at the last day is right in front of you. Just watch what I'm about to do" well, I think she gets it and goes to get Mary.
Enter Mary. Totally different encounter. Emotions. she comes and says the same thing Martha does. Then she weeps. And what does Jesus do? He weeps with her. Awesome! Jesus, amidst waiting to do something that will shock everyone, is deeply moved, weeps alongside his dear friend. The resurrection and the life is weeping, deeply moved with emotion. Incredible.
So he gets to the tomb. And showdown time. Death or Jesus? Who will win out? Jesus in the center of the stage, prays to his father and says, let them know that you sent me. And with this, he call Lazarus out of the grave, stench and all, and saying, "unbind him and let him go," as if Jesus himself were ripping off the chains of death of the stinky ole Lazarus. Resurrection and the life? I think so...
But fast forward to a later day when those Jews earlier in the chapter finally had their chance to kill Jesus, and once more Jesus is deeply moved in spirit. Cause now it's the resurrection and the life's turn to die; to suffer alone, despised and rejected, to be lifted up so that those who believe in him will have life. And then, three days later, he who is the resurrection and the life defeats death itself; conquering the grave once and for all. Where o death, is your sting? Where o hell is your victory? I'll tell you, swallowed up in Jesus, the one who brings trials for his glory, who weeps with us in the midst of them, and who endured the cross and defeated death as the resurrection and the life. Now that's a there and back again tale of epic proportions.
So has it been a crazy week? Yeah absolutely. But I've got Jesus. And as he's shown up already in mysterious and powerful ways, I know he will continue to show up through the rest of this.
John 11 begins one of my favorite moments in the gospels (if you're a jr. higher reading this you are immediately rolling your eyes because I that almost everything in the Bible is my favorite, but hey, what can I say?). At this point the whole gospel of John just gets turned up in terms of mission and purpose, with massive event and dialogue after another. So this chapter turns that corner. Many of you know the story. It's the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Yes, from the dead. Awesome. But before we get to that spot, a few of Jesus's responses must be recognized in order to get the magnitude of what he does later.
First, after hearing that Lazarus is sick, instead of going to Bethany immediately to heal the guy, he stays two days longer where he was at, saying it was for the glory of God. So maybe it is true God doesn't free us from trials immediately for his glory later? Well, if that's not the best news, he waits and gets there four days after Lazarus was dead! Oops! Perhaps God was sleeping or on vacation. I know it can feel that way sometimes. But God is not some silly idol or good luck charm that helps us cope with the troubles of this world. He's not some father figure we've just made up to psychologically manage the angst of the world. Ohohno. Here we go. Just you wait and see.
So, Jesus gets to Bethany, and Lazarus' sisters come to him. Martha first. She's wrapping her mind around it intellectually, saying, Jesus, I know he'll rise again at the resurrection of the dead. But Jesus says, hey Martha, I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even if he dies. He says, "hey, do you get? I'm right here. That thing you're waiting for at the last day is right in front of you. Just watch what I'm about to do" well, I think she gets it and goes to get Mary.
Enter Mary. Totally different encounter. Emotions. she comes and says the same thing Martha does. Then she weeps. And what does Jesus do? He weeps with her. Awesome! Jesus, amidst waiting to do something that will shock everyone, is deeply moved, weeps alongside his dear friend. The resurrection and the life is weeping, deeply moved with emotion. Incredible.
So he gets to the tomb. And showdown time. Death or Jesus? Who will win out? Jesus in the center of the stage, prays to his father and says, let them know that you sent me. And with this, he call Lazarus out of the grave, stench and all, and saying, "unbind him and let him go," as if Jesus himself were ripping off the chains of death of the stinky ole Lazarus. Resurrection and the life? I think so...
But fast forward to a later day when those Jews earlier in the chapter finally had their chance to kill Jesus, and once more Jesus is deeply moved in spirit. Cause now it's the resurrection and the life's turn to die; to suffer alone, despised and rejected, to be lifted up so that those who believe in him will have life. And then, three days later, he who is the resurrection and the life defeats death itself; conquering the grave once and for all. Where o death, is your sting? Where o hell is your victory? I'll tell you, swallowed up in Jesus, the one who brings trials for his glory, who weeps with us in the midst of them, and who endured the cross and defeated death as the resurrection and the life. Now that's a there and back again tale of epic proportions.
So has it been a crazy week? Yeah absolutely. But I've got Jesus. And as he's shown up already in mysterious and powerful ways, I know he will continue to show up through the rest of this.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Chemo Day #1: Over and Done
Hello to all! I hope this blog finds you well! I just wanted to give you all an update with all that is going on up here and some things God is teaching me. First of all, your prayers and support have been so overwhelming to me and my family. The body of Christ is so powerful and the prayers of the saints are so meaningful. Jesus is good. Secondly, as all this is new to me, it seems fresh and scary and overwhelming, and yet I know there are those who have been going through bouts with cancer and illness much longer and more severe than mine. You guys get a big pat on the back from me! I now can empathize a little more closely with what you are going through; stay the course, the Lord is still good. My thoughts especially go out to sweet little Ella Dreamer, whom many of you know. The song she sang at LRBC the other day has been a constant encouragement to me. God will never let go, through the calm and through the storm.
But questions still come. Big questions. Gigantic questions. Why does something like this happen? Why would something like this happen to someone so young? Surely a good God wouldn't do something like this. Doesn't seem very good. A God that would let bad things happen like this couldn't certainly be real, or at the very least not worth loving or obeying. But fortunately, God's metaphysical reality isn't dependent upon our finite scope of understanding. Really, That would be silly if it were true. So we're left with a response.
So how to respond? How to respond in any tragedy? Do you pretend the tragedy doesn't exist and act as if life is going on as normal, living in two different worlds? While working for a while, one day you might wake up and both worlds have collapsed around you and you don't know who you are or where to turn to. So, do you get angry at God or at someone else? This will at least help get your feelings out, but in the end you become bitter and hurt deeper than you realize and nothing is really fixed. So as I sit here in my hospy bed I wonder the same question. I know God is good, I know he loves me, I know he is powerful and in control, and he wants his name to be made great in all things (after all that's why we're here), so how do I respond? Well, I think the word is honesty. I think we respond honestly. We recognize our pain, and express it. We have questions and might not have answers (and btw, perhaps we wouldn't understand or like the answers if we knew them anyway), but we trust God and look to him for help, for hope, and to learn from him and his word in the midst of the pain, in order that his name would be great, and people would see that he is indeed worth worshipping and obeying. And friends, so far, he has been far more worth it than imaginable. I lift my eyes up, and my help comes from the Lord.
So lift your eyes up too. Psalm 34 is a good place to start and it's where I found great hope. Paraphrase: I will extol the lord at all times, his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the lord, let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the lord with me, let us exalt his name together! I sought the Lord, Jesus is his name, and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant their faces are NEVER covered with shame. This poor and sick man called and the Lord saved him out of all his troubles. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him...those who seek the lord lack no good thing...the lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles but the Lord delivers him from them ALL. That's good stuff. Reallly good.
Thank you all for your prayers. Some specific prayers requests are for the chemo Im being buttered up with. Im on them continously for the next three full days. Pray for no side affects. Like none lol. That would be great. Also they found a blood clot in each of my arms that they are watching closely. They confused my giant biceps for swelling. Common mistake. Pray there would be no complications. Pray that the booger of a tumor will be miraculously shrunk. And pray for my family, esp. My parents. Thanks so much and I love you all! Stay tuned for more fun stuff!
But questions still come. Big questions. Gigantic questions. Why does something like this happen? Why would something like this happen to someone so young? Surely a good God wouldn't do something like this. Doesn't seem very good. A God that would let bad things happen like this couldn't certainly be real, or at the very least not worth loving or obeying. But fortunately, God's metaphysical reality isn't dependent upon our finite scope of understanding. Really, That would be silly if it were true. So we're left with a response.
So how to respond? How to respond in any tragedy? Do you pretend the tragedy doesn't exist and act as if life is going on as normal, living in two different worlds? While working for a while, one day you might wake up and both worlds have collapsed around you and you don't know who you are or where to turn to. So, do you get angry at God or at someone else? This will at least help get your feelings out, but in the end you become bitter and hurt deeper than you realize and nothing is really fixed. So as I sit here in my hospy bed I wonder the same question. I know God is good, I know he loves me, I know he is powerful and in control, and he wants his name to be made great in all things (after all that's why we're here), so how do I respond? Well, I think the word is honesty. I think we respond honestly. We recognize our pain, and express it. We have questions and might not have answers (and btw, perhaps we wouldn't understand or like the answers if we knew them anyway), but we trust God and look to him for help, for hope, and to learn from him and his word in the midst of the pain, in order that his name would be great, and people would see that he is indeed worth worshipping and obeying. And friends, so far, he has been far more worth it than imaginable. I lift my eyes up, and my help comes from the Lord.
So lift your eyes up too. Psalm 34 is a good place to start and it's where I found great hope. Paraphrase: I will extol the lord at all times, his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the lord, let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the lord with me, let us exalt his name together! I sought the Lord, Jesus is his name, and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant their faces are NEVER covered with shame. This poor and sick man called and the Lord saved him out of all his troubles. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him...those who seek the lord lack no good thing...the lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles but the Lord delivers him from them ALL. That's good stuff. Reallly good.
Thank you all for your prayers. Some specific prayers requests are for the chemo Im being buttered up with. Im on them continously for the next three full days. Pray for no side affects. Like none lol. That would be great. Also they found a blood clot in each of my arms that they are watching closely. They confused my giant biceps for swelling. Common mistake. Pray there would be no complications. Pray that the booger of a tumor will be miraculously shrunk. And pray for my family, esp. My parents. Thanks so much and I love you all! Stay tuned for more fun stuff!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Out of the frying pan into the fire... From Monday to Friday.
Hello to everyone!
Well, this one is gonna be a long one, and mostly informational and narrative. I want to get the details out of what has been going on with this whole deal, so that those that are interested in knowing will hear it dirctly from me.
As most of you this whole thing started with a cough seven weeks ago on one cold fronted day in October. I thought nothing of it at the time except, welp, here comes a cough. Weeks went by and the cough grew worse, but I have battled coughs and stuff all my life so again I didnt think much of it. I took some over the counter drugs eventually, but they just didn't seem to help. Around nov 10th, I finally decided to see a doctor. He determined that it was an upper respiratory infection and acute bronchitis, both diagnoses seeming very reasonable and consistent with what was going on. Happily pleased to have that problem solved and with sufficient steroids and antibiotics, I went on my way, had a great Fall Retreat with the youth group, butcould never get rid of the cough.
Thanksgiving week came, and with the awesome scheduling of Reading Week at Criswell, I thought it was the perfect time for me to get rest that week and get over this sickness, whatever it was. Unforunately, that was not the case. Continually I was feeling more fatigued, coughed more, and generally more out of breath with the beginnings of a high heart rate.
The next week began the next set of symptoms. My neck began to swell and my jaw began to hurt and swell, which made me look like a younger Santa Claus! (perhaps thats really what's going on ;) ). My heartrate was consistly faster, and it felt as if I were always exercising. Which for a guy like me and the ginormity of my muscles wasn't such a stretch :). Matt and Ben know all about stuff like that.
Well, Monday of this week rolls along, and after night after night of sweats and uncomfortably, and feeling crummy, it was time to go to the doctor. So I went to another doctor closer by, and by the way, my face looked hilarious. That day I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because it would just make me laugh. Probably exactly what y'all experience every day. When you see me normally, but now i understand! So, immediately the doctor notices, not the cough problem, but the elevated heart rate and high blood pressure I had. It was like I was running a marathon just sitting still! He immediately after seeing some abnormalities in my EKG, decided that I needed to be sent to a cardiologist. So here I go to meet Dr. Carry down at Baylor. She was awesome! Such a blessing!
After much of the same after her appointment, she decided to admit me over night. Now this was something that I had never wanted to do, was be admitted into the hospital for something serious. Well, we get a room and the tests to see what was wrong with my heart begin. Echo, that was a cool sonogram deal where they saw fluid aroundmy heart, chest x-ray, and after hearing I had been in Uganda last summer, a CAT scan. So CAT party begins, and the tech comes back and says nonchalantly, we're gonna do the scan again because you have a mass around heart. What?! Uh...I was somewhat speechless, but at the time there was not much to be done except continue the test.
Fast forward to Tuesday morning. The wonderful Dr. Carry comes in and says, well God works in mysterious ways (you'll hear about those mysterious ways in another post.) bottom line, you have a large mass pushing against your lungs and large arteries around your heart. We need to biopsy this immediately to see what we are dealing with and then begin treatment right away. Wow. What shocking news. I want to be open in this blog with my struggles through all of this for the purpose that you might see God at work in all of that, and that he is still God amidst tragedy, in fact I might contend that he does his best work when things are not going how we would have planned them at all. Needless to say, I had seen people hear bad news and had watched them get nauseous andy throw up, thinking to myself, that's such a weird response. Like, keep it together man! Wel,now I now the feeling. News like that was not something I ever would have heard, especially as a 22 year old.
Later the morning the oncologists came in and did some tests and other stuff, and then the biopsy that night. At this point iwant to take the time to thank everyone who has come out to visit me and pray with me and support me. Your testimony has been overwhelming, and I have been strengthened through your love and prayers and through the spirit dwelling inside of you. And your love shines not only to our fqmily, but is seen by all those working at the hospital, and you are a testimony of Jesus to them. Thank you so much! I've never felt more blessed.
So biopsy came and went, my first surgery,and boy thank goodness for that happy juice they giv you.things went smoothly and I got to spend the night in icu. Well, this ws a blessing and curse. There was a machine that sounded like a washing machine going on for one patient across the room of four, and another patient had just had major heart surgery so he's crying out in pain all night. So no sleep for me. But hey, that just means I got to spend time with some sweet and attractive nurses attended to me the whole night. Can't beat that!
The next morning came a transfer to the room that I am in now, and with it came a bone marrow biopsy! Yikes! You know, there are things called bucket lists, things you want to do before you die. Well I have a "hole-in-the-bucket" list and on it are things i never want to do before I die. Of these on the top of the list were, not be admitted to the hospital, not ever have surgery , and certainly not have a bone marrow biopsy.i've seen enough house episodes to know otherwise :)! Check. Check.check. God sure does work in mysterious ways, does he not?the rest of the day was filled with encouraging visitors who provided so much joy and comfort amidst all the trying times going on. Someone even dressed up as an elf (thanks jenni:) you're awesome, even though I know it wasn't totally for me:) )! I cant say it enough how much your support from family,the church, and the school, has meant to meandmy family. We've had people we don't know come by cuz someone had told their Sunday school class, so they came and prayed. its just been awesome!
Well,let's get to Thursday, because I know this is a long post, but i wanted to be thorough so you all could be on the same page if you have been praying ( after this you might start praying for smaller blog posts). Thursday started with a PET scan, which is all we thought we were doing Thursday. Ohohno! More tests and fun procedures. And it ended with the diagnosis of what I have. The tumor in my chest is a non-hodgkins mediastinal b cell lymphoma common among those my age (those of course who get cancer). Thankfully it hasn't spread into my bone marrow, and they are awaiting the results on the PET scan, but they are going to start chemo here within the next few minutes (2 am Friday morning). They will attack it aggressively. Me, being so strong and muscular in prime physical condition they can just lay the chemo on me!
So the first journey of diagnosing has ended and the new journey of chemo is just now beginning. Out of the frying pan into the fire. Pray for strength. Pray for strength for my mom and dad.
Psalm 46 has been rolling through my head this whole ordeal. My paraphrase "god is our refuge and strength, an ever present trouble. Therefore Iwill not fear... Those this whole earth shakes away... There is a city whose streams make glad the holy place of God where the most high dwells. God is within her, she CANNOT fall, God will help her at break of day. The Lord almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress.... (and later) be still and know, that I am God.be still and know that i am God. I will be exalted among the nations I will be exalted on the earth. The Lord almighty is with us, the god of Jacob is our fortress. Amen. Learn that. Memorize that. Let it be your hearts cry in good times and in the most uncertain times. Be still and know that he is god. And by the way, I was still, and more than I,ve ever, amidst this trial, I know he is God and I know I am his son and that he will take care of me through all of this, whether by life or by death, he will be exalted among the nations, he will be exalted on the earth.
Well, the rest of my blogs will not be nearly this long and kudos to you who have made it to the end. There was a lot of material to cover. I'll give an update on the chemo procedures today or tomorrow depending on how I feel, but I also want to spend some time showing what God is doing and what he is teaching. Pray that those around us would have their faith strengthened and that some would come to Christ! Love you guys! You all mean the world to me (but only those who actually, read the whole thing lol). Just kidding! Love you guys!
Jonathan
Well, this one is gonna be a long one, and mostly informational and narrative. I want to get the details out of what has been going on with this whole deal, so that those that are interested in knowing will hear it dirctly from me.
As most of you this whole thing started with a cough seven weeks ago on one cold fronted day in October. I thought nothing of it at the time except, welp, here comes a cough. Weeks went by and the cough grew worse, but I have battled coughs and stuff all my life so again I didnt think much of it. I took some over the counter drugs eventually, but they just didn't seem to help. Around nov 10th, I finally decided to see a doctor. He determined that it was an upper respiratory infection and acute bronchitis, both diagnoses seeming very reasonable and consistent with what was going on. Happily pleased to have that problem solved and with sufficient steroids and antibiotics, I went on my way, had a great Fall Retreat with the youth group, butcould never get rid of the cough.
Thanksgiving week came, and with the awesome scheduling of Reading Week at Criswell, I thought it was the perfect time for me to get rest that week and get over this sickness, whatever it was. Unforunately, that was not the case. Continually I was feeling more fatigued, coughed more, and generally more out of breath with the beginnings of a high heart rate.
The next week began the next set of symptoms. My neck began to swell and my jaw began to hurt and swell, which made me look like a younger Santa Claus! (perhaps thats really what's going on ;) ). My heartrate was consistly faster, and it felt as if I were always exercising. Which for a guy like me and the ginormity of my muscles wasn't such a stretch :). Matt and Ben know all about stuff like that.
Well, Monday of this week rolls along, and after night after night of sweats and uncomfortably, and feeling crummy, it was time to go to the doctor. So I went to another doctor closer by, and by the way, my face looked hilarious. That day I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because it would just make me laugh. Probably exactly what y'all experience every day. When you see me normally, but now i understand! So, immediately the doctor notices, not the cough problem, but the elevated heart rate and high blood pressure I had. It was like I was running a marathon just sitting still! He immediately after seeing some abnormalities in my EKG, decided that I needed to be sent to a cardiologist. So here I go to meet Dr. Carry down at Baylor. She was awesome! Such a blessing!
After much of the same after her appointment, she decided to admit me over night. Now this was something that I had never wanted to do, was be admitted into the hospital for something serious. Well, we get a room and the tests to see what was wrong with my heart begin. Echo, that was a cool sonogram deal where they saw fluid aroundmy heart, chest x-ray, and after hearing I had been in Uganda last summer, a CAT scan. So CAT party begins, and the tech comes back and says nonchalantly, we're gonna do the scan again because you have a mass around heart. What?! Uh...I was somewhat speechless, but at the time there was not much to be done except continue the test.
Fast forward to Tuesday morning. The wonderful Dr. Carry comes in and says, well God works in mysterious ways (you'll hear about those mysterious ways in another post.) bottom line, you have a large mass pushing against your lungs and large arteries around your heart. We need to biopsy this immediately to see what we are dealing with and then begin treatment right away. Wow. What shocking news. I want to be open in this blog with my struggles through all of this for the purpose that you might see God at work in all of that, and that he is still God amidst tragedy, in fact I might contend that he does his best work when things are not going how we would have planned them at all. Needless to say, I had seen people hear bad news and had watched them get nauseous andy throw up, thinking to myself, that's such a weird response. Like, keep it together man! Wel,now I now the feeling. News like that was not something I ever would have heard, especially as a 22 year old.
Later the morning the oncologists came in and did some tests and other stuff, and then the biopsy that night. At this point iwant to take the time to thank everyone who has come out to visit me and pray with me and support me. Your testimony has been overwhelming, and I have been strengthened through your love and prayers and through the spirit dwelling inside of you. And your love shines not only to our fqmily, but is seen by all those working at the hospital, and you are a testimony of Jesus to them. Thank you so much! I've never felt more blessed.
So biopsy came and went, my first surgery,and boy thank goodness for that happy juice they giv you.things went smoothly and I got to spend the night in icu. Well, this ws a blessing and curse. There was a machine that sounded like a washing machine going on for one patient across the room of four, and another patient had just had major heart surgery so he's crying out in pain all night. So no sleep for me. But hey, that just means I got to spend time with some sweet and attractive nurses attended to me the whole night. Can't beat that!
The next morning came a transfer to the room that I am in now, and with it came a bone marrow biopsy! Yikes! You know, there are things called bucket lists, things you want to do before you die. Well I have a "hole-in-the-bucket" list and on it are things i never want to do before I die. Of these on the top of the list were, not be admitted to the hospital, not ever have surgery , and certainly not have a bone marrow biopsy.i've seen enough house episodes to know otherwise :)! Check. Check.check. God sure does work in mysterious ways, does he not?the rest of the day was filled with encouraging visitors who provided so much joy and comfort amidst all the trying times going on. Someone even dressed up as an elf (thanks jenni:) you're awesome, even though I know it wasn't totally for me:) )! I cant say it enough how much your support from family,the church, and the school, has meant to meandmy family. We've had people we don't know come by cuz someone had told their Sunday school class, so they came and prayed. its just been awesome!
Well,let's get to Thursday, because I know this is a long post, but i wanted to be thorough so you all could be on the same page if you have been praying ( after this you might start praying for smaller blog posts). Thursday started with a PET scan, which is all we thought we were doing Thursday. Ohohno! More tests and fun procedures. And it ended with the diagnosis of what I have. The tumor in my chest is a non-hodgkins mediastinal b cell lymphoma common among those my age (those of course who get cancer). Thankfully it hasn't spread into my bone marrow, and they are awaiting the results on the PET scan, but they are going to start chemo here within the next few minutes (2 am Friday morning). They will attack it aggressively. Me, being so strong and muscular in prime physical condition they can just lay the chemo on me!
So the first journey of diagnosing has ended and the new journey of chemo is just now beginning. Out of the frying pan into the fire. Pray for strength. Pray for strength for my mom and dad.
Psalm 46 has been rolling through my head this whole ordeal. My paraphrase "god is our refuge and strength, an ever present trouble. Therefore Iwill not fear... Those this whole earth shakes away... There is a city whose streams make glad the holy place of God where the most high dwells. God is within her, she CANNOT fall, God will help her at break of day. The Lord almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress.... (and later) be still and know, that I am God.be still and know that i am God. I will be exalted among the nations I will be exalted on the earth. The Lord almighty is with us, the god of Jacob is our fortress. Amen. Learn that. Memorize that. Let it be your hearts cry in good times and in the most uncertain times. Be still and know that he is god. And by the way, I was still, and more than I,ve ever, amidst this trial, I know he is God and I know I am his son and that he will take care of me through all of this, whether by life or by death, he will be exalted among the nations, he will be exalted on the earth.
Well, the rest of my blogs will not be nearly this long and kudos to you who have made it to the end. There was a lot of material to cover. I'll give an update on the chemo procedures today or tomorrow depending on how I feel, but I also want to spend some time showing what God is doing and what he is teaching. Pray that those around us would have their faith strengthened and that some would come to Christ! Love you guys! You all mean the world to me (but only those who actually, read the whole thing lol). Just kidding! Love you guys!
Jonathan
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
First post
The blog isn't too extensive just yet, because at this point I'm not sure how long this whole process is going to be. But the purpose is to send information out to those who are interested, and to make remarks on what God is doing and what He is teaching me and my family through all of this. So we'll see how things go. Stay tuned!
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