Leaving Rivendell

Well, the day has finally come. Tomorrow morning I go back to the hospital for the next round of chemo treatment. It's the same regiment and I should be in for abut a week. Since I was in the hospital last, I decided I would begin to read through the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings again. I haven't read them in a while, and I figured that no books were more fitting to relate to than books about characters that were thrust into an adventure they were not ready for. In both books the adventurers make a stop at the lovely Rivendell. Rivendell is a place of rest and comfort after the first leg of their journey. They'd already had experiences they never expected to have in an entire lifetime; adventures that would make for great stories when all was said and done. but for the time being they rested and enjoyed not adventuring while being at Rivendell. Unfortunately, their time at Rivendell had to end. For as far as they felt they had gone, the adventurers still had a long way to go, and the brief reprieve had to come to an end. They had to pack their bags and prepare for the journey ahead. They weren't finished just yet.

This is about how I feel. The first leg is over, and I've had my stay at Rivendell. I've rested and recovered from wounds from the journey. I've gotten to spend wonderful times with friends and family. I've regained my strength and my energy. But its time to begin the next leg of the journey. And it's come much too soon. To be honest, I'm not ready to go back to the hospital. There are too many unknowns; too many things to go through. It's a long journey and it's way more comfortable where I am now. But I guess that's the way adventures work. You never really are ready for them, and they never really come at your convenience. otherwise, they wouldn't be adventures I guess. They come at their time and you just get thrown in. It's ready, set, go and the journey begins. So, whether I like it or not, I have to begin again. The adventure waits for no one. Those that stay behind miss out. Sure they miss out on all the fear, unknowns, the fatigue, the loss of comfort. But they also miss out on the fact that they are on an adventure. You see new places, meet new people, learn things about yourself and the world that you never would've known otherwise. Most of the time adventurers at the end get the girl (i dont wanna miss out on that ;)), and maybe, just maybe, there will be a treasure at the end, or at least something involving saving the world. That's what adventures are like. I think I'll take my chances and jump in with both feet.

But there's another thing about Rivendell. As good as it is being in a place like that, it's just not home. It's not normal. Rivendell is a constant reminder that you are stuck in the middle. If you stayed there forever, as good as it may be, it's not the same as being home and done with the journey. You would be in between for the rest of your life. You would be reminded of what you left behind and what you didn't accomplish before you. Staying in Rivendell would turn out to be maddening. The time there has to come to an end. You either go home and miss out, or you choose to continue on and finish the adventure. But you can't stay in Rivendell. And so here's where I am. I must continue on. I don't really have a choice. The path has been set before me. I'm leaving Rivendell. Whether I'm ready or not the time has come. I have a journey to complete and though I probably won't end up saving the world or stumbling on a grand treasure, I know this is going to be for my good, and when the adventure is over, I will come back home, this time for good; or at least until Gandalf shows up at my door ready with another adventure. :)