The mean time...

Hello to all! So just a quick update: went to the hospital today for blood work and the results were good, which basically means I'm a healthy guy(considering the fact I was on chemotherapy). So that's good! We continue to look for good results as I'm checked often for this. If my white cell counts or platelets are low I just do the vampire thing and get some blood (although drinking it will be out of the question!), so we'll cross that bridge if the Lord considers us worthy of going there (by the way I'm gaining more and more respect for those who have gone down similar roads as I am going through now. You guys are troopers and I greatly admire your courage asyou've battled medical illnesses and the like. Your example spurs me on).

In the mean time (which is a great phrase to describe how I'm feeling now), I am learning what it means to trust in the Lord. Now immediately some may say, well wait, he's just now learning to trust the Lord? What was he doing this whole time he was sick in the hospital? Those certainly would,ve been good times to learn about trusting in the Lord. And that is very true. In fact I did learn quite a bit about trusting in the Lord and relying on Him in the darkest of times. It was by his grace that he showed me how much I need Him for every breath.

That being said, the initial shock with its added adrenaline and energy boost has worn off. I'm home now. And as great as being home is, I'm constantly reminded, I'm still sick. I'm in for the long haul, of doctors appointments, tests, labs, side effects, and the ever loathsome self administered blood thinner shots (who knew my last name would have such a special meaning to me now!). It's this strange dichotomy of being home and not home. Being better and not. It's the mean time. And in the mean time, I'm learning that it takes just as much dependence upon the Lord as it did every moment I was clinging to Him through the unknowns at the hospital.

He's teaching and reminding me the truth that it is only by His grace that I have breath in the morning. It's only by his grace that my heart beats when it does. And it's only by his grace that I can think and do anything at all. And because of this I need to trust him in any and every situation; normal or abnormal. He continues to be just the same God as he was before, during, and after anything we go through. He hasn't changed. Our perspective does. And mine is changing. See, I knew intellectually that he maintained everything and was in control of everything, now I actually have to depend on its truth. I have to keep the mindset that im constantly surrendering to him for strength and for my life reslly. If I forget to trust, things go badly. We all know they do and we all know what it's like when we've forgotten to trust completlely on the Lord.

If you think about it. We're all in the mean time. Jesus has come and done his most awesome work. Those who believe in him are saved from sin and death. But at the same time, we are still waiting. We are waiting for him to come back. We are waiting to finally be completely rd of this fleshly body with all its sin and pain. Even This Christmas we celebrate his first coming. But we are so anxiously awaiting his second coming. It's the mean time. And the mean time is really hard. Life isn't perfect. There is still pain. There is still hurt. But there is joy. There is hope. There is Christmas and the celebration of what Jesus has already done. And there is waiting. So in the mean time, join me in total, all out, utter dependence on the Lord. For every breath. For every heart beat. For the normal and the not so normal. But trust Him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. In all your ways.